Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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