It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
