We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
