Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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