Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
