At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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