she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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