I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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