Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
