That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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