I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
