i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
