and you said cock pushups were impossible
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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