I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
