I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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