I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My life is pants optional.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize