This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize