lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
