me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
