Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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