I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
