i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
