can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize