Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
