dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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