my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize