I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
