Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's blow job season.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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