Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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