Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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