Christians are straight up FREAKS
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
