just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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