would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
