he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
