so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
