she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
