Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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