It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
