i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
