worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
