a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The ass gains better be worth it
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