oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
