The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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