ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
