elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
