you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
