I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
