His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
