So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
