So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
