party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
