she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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