Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
