what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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