awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize