You can't special order awesome
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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