I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
