Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
