He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
