Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
