the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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