so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
