I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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