my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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