Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
one might say we're banned from that church
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
