this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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