Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
