Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize